I ended up taking a mental health day yesterday. I haven’t done that in a very long time, but needed some serious self-care. I ended up spending most of the day sleeping, and today I am feeling more refreshed.

One thing I’ve committed to for my social glue power pod is to learn LinkedIn. I know it’s where most of my larger current clients spend their time, so I need to learn how to master it to help gain visibility with additional potential clients. I’m going to be spending some time over the next couple of days coming up with a strategy on how to best use that networking platform.

My depression is pretty overwhelming this week. I’m chalking it up to getting used to the new time I’m getting up in the morning. I hope that’s what it is. If not, I’ve got to figure out what I can do to keep it at bay.

John & I are helping organize the greenhorn spiel at the curling club. It’s going to be a major step out of my comfort zone, because we’re in charge of prizes and potentially sponsors. Eek. I don’t know how to ask companies to donate prizes. I don’t know what I’m going to do about that.

My time doing visualization has evolved to a more goal-setting activity for the day, coming up with a plan of attack and a to-do list. I feel this is more effective as it prepares me to start my day and I can begin knowing exactly what I want and need to accomplish.

I’ve been reading The Big Plan for the Creative Mind by Dannie Fountain and Reina Pomeroy, and it’s really helping me recognize how important goal setting is, that specific goal setting techniques don’t work for everyone, and that it’s still important to be flexible with goals. Flexibility is my problem – the evolution and adjustment of goals, and letting go of ones when your direction in life and business changes.

Getting up in the morning is getting easier. I actually was able to get out of bed quickly today. I am finding that I’m getting A LOT more done in the mornings than I used to and that I feel like I actually have TIME.

Yesterday was better than Tuesday as far as mood, anxiety and depression goes.

Today, I am grateful for my curling friends. They’re not people I would normally connect with in real life. But they’re all awesome.

John and I are helping to plan a spiel for newbie curlers, and we are looking at prizes and potentially sponsors. I have a few ideas for people to approach, and I’m really thinking about creating a poster for a prize myself. That could be fun. I haven’t done anything artistic (other than websites or graphic design projects) in a long time.

This morning I am extremely grateful for the Facebook groups I belong to, because they have given me the opportunity to meet other business leaders in the design industry, other small business owners in Ontario, and other people who are looking to improve their own lives. They provide support, a place to learn, and an opportunity to help others.

After a tough meeting yesterday, I spent the majority of the day depressed. Clients who question everything you do are difficult, but I’m going to look on this as an opportunity for improvement. I’ve spent some time reflecting on it, and have reviewed a few of my processes and communication templates with clients, and I really need to stick with those instead of off-the-cuffing it.

At least the meditation and exercise first thing in the morning help control the anxiety I feel most days. There’s still a little bit there, but it’s definitely less.

I finished Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People yesterday and learned about making the other person happy to do what I want them to do, encouraging them, and giving them a reputation to live up to. The encouragement thing reminds me of how you’re supposed to train an animal – with positive reinforcement.

I slept through my first alarm this morning. Thankfully my fitbit has an alarm as well that I set for shortly after my phone’s alarm. Waking up early is hard.

I’m almost done reading Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. On one hand, there’s a lot of good information in there that, when I’ve applied it in my own life, absolutely makes sense. On the other hand, I don’t like the tone it’s been written in. I find it a little off-putting at times.

Yesterday I read about how you should help others save face and two other chapters that I don’t remember now.

I’ve got two products that I want to develop for sale and I will admit that my two excuses are that I don’t have time to develop them and that I don’t think people will buy them. But they both have really been on my mind for at least six months. In fact, one has been on my mind for a few years.

The first is the accessibility for designer book I mentioned yesterday. The second is a workbook on how to do a successful strategic web design – meant for the DIYers who would prefer to not pay a lot for services but need some help. I still think it would work well, and we could absolutely set up a funnel for it. Something John’s been wanting to test out for a while.

While doing some visualization this morning, I realized that even just visualizing confidently walking into a networking event and introducing myself to other people is enough to make my anxiety go through the roof. I definitely need to work on that in order to help myself feel ready for the YIP networking event next week.

Today I’m grateful for John – my fiancee, my business partner, my best friend. He is my support and my strength in areas where I can’t support myself. He believes in me.

Waking up today was a little difficult but as soon as I got myself out of bed and changed into exercise clothes it got easier. I like having a routine to follow. I just realized that “routine” is very close in spelling to “poutine” and now I am craving that.

I was planning on using my journalling time in the morning to blog, but now I’m wondering whether I should instead use it for finally writing that Accessibility for Designers book that I’ve had on the back burner for the last 3 years. But maybe that’s what I’ll move onto after this 30 day TMM experiment if it works out for me.

I recently finished reading Hal Elrod’s The Miracle Morning as a part of the Classy Career Girl’s 2018 Book Club and I feel like there are a lot of good principles that can be pulled from it. I want to give it a go. I mean, there will be some things that I take and adjust for myself. But one of the items that I will be trying is the Affirmations portion. And what I want to focus on is business success.

I believe that I am worthy of succeeding in business and that I deserve for MoonSoar Services to become a well-known business within the region. The more successful I can be, the more I can help other business owners grow and succeed. I am an expert in my field and my services are not a commodity. I will not doubt my knowledge or strength in the design field, and I will commit to always putting my best foot forward in acknowledgement that how I present myself and my business will help promote and grow my business. I will commit to connecting with one other local business owner every week, so that I can help grow my own and their businesses.

I’ve been suffering from some MAJOR imposter syndrome lately.

I know we all get this. I also know that I am going to work my ass off until my business is successful because I’m just that gosh darn stubborn.

But… how do I know when it’s okay to stop working my ass off? I currently measure my success based on what other creatives online appear to be… with the massive followings, with people knowing who they are, with all of the happy perfect instagram posts… but because we don’t get to see what’s going on behind the online world, we don’t know if they actually are successful. Are they satisfied with their businesses and lives? Are they happy? Do they make enough money that their businesses will be afloat in five years?

I need to stop comparing my measure of success to theirs, because it’s never going to be the same.

At this point, a few things that I want to accomplish in order to feel successful are:

  • Making enough money in my business to be able to buy a house.
  • Being able to attend in-person networking events and having people recognize me as a local business owner.
  • Having 100 business owners on my mailing list that I send communications out to on a regular basis.

Today was the first Bravo Call for Social Glue Sessions Round 2, and in it Reina was talking about Visibility. This is something that I’ve been trying to wrap my head around for a month or so. What I know is this:

  • my target owns a small to medium sized businesses in the local area.
  • my target uses LinkedIn, and sometimes uses Facebook & Twitter.
  • my target reads traditional media.

I was hoping to focus on Facebook this year for doing the online marketing thing. But now I’m not sure that it’s not wasted effort. I’m also wondering if I should be attempting to get into traditional media somehow – whether that’s through advertising, advertorials, sponsored columns, etc.

Argh, this building a reputation is hard and I question myself way too much about everything.

Also, this stream of consciousness is a bit rambling.

I’m quite anxious about the small groups for social glue sessions – it’ll either help ease my imposter syndrome or it’ll make it worse.

Also, I need to be more mindful this year on marketing, client relations and building my business. I want to make each step forward deliberately so I can be sure that my business succeeds.

Wednesday December 27, 2017


  • Got a call today from hospital – ferritin levels were down to 46ng/mL. Was looking to get between 50-75ng/mL.
  • Got the on-boarding process questionnaire and client wrap-up questionnaire’s done.
  • Client news: got a client’s website on their server and waiting for the okay to go live, sent off invoice for deposit for another client’s website.


We’re spending this week reviewing 2017 and making some plans for 2018. So far we’re looking at shuffling our service offerings a little bit, looking at a product to sell, and better streamlining our client management process. I’m really looking forward to 2018 – I think we’re going to kick it this year.

Thursday December 28, 2017


  • Client news: got deposit and signed contract for that client I mentioned yesterday. Exciting!
  • Rejiggered our current service offerings on our website. Added Accessibility and Emergency Website Fixes into Web Design, renamed Creative Solutions to Graphic Design, and combined Email Marketing, Analytics and AdWords into Online Marketing. More in line with what our current clients want.
  • Seeing Star Wars tonight! Finally!


I’m really excited about working on this client project. I’ve done some work on their website in the past. It was a bit of a pain in the butt because of how their previous designer set everything up – not creating the theme as a child theme, never updating themes & plugins, etc. So I’m looking forward to making everything easier for the client and making the website much more user friendly for the visitor. I think we can do a lot to help make a website that’s better for them.

Friday December 29, 2017


  • Got a form submission from the website for a new website quote. John’s working on this. A little worried as a problem client from 2+ years ago (who didn’t end up paying for their website) was recommended by the same person who recommended us to this potential client.
  • Added two new pieces to the portfolio finally. Still need to add one more, but it’s getting there.


It’s been an educational year and I hope that 2018 will go well.

Tuesday December 19, 2017


  • Chose my 2018 Word For the Year: Flourish
  • Got all caught up on all of the emails that were sent while away on vacation. I miss Cuba already, but the vacation was extremely healing.
  • Got five major tasks completed.


Today I’ve discovered that when John starts panicking and getting anxious, I have the ability to maintain my calm and take control. This is a good thing, because he’s always the one I can depend on when I get anxious, so to know that I can be that for him… well, like I said, it’s a good thing.

Wednesday December 20, 2017


  • Heard back from a potential client that was hoping to reduce the quote because she had a marketing consultant who wants to decide where elements are placed on the homepage. At this point thinking about passing on the project completely as it sounds like it’s going to be more work than originally quoted for.
  • Spent afternoon at hospital for phlebotomy. Results from two weeks ago were super positive – ferritin levels were down to 80ng/mL. Huzzah!
  • Got four major tasks completed<./li>


I started listening to the Meditation Minis podcast a while back and it’s been such a huge help in learning how to centre myself. Since going into business for myself, I’ve embraced a lot more of the things that I wouldn’t have looked twice at before – and meditation is a huge one. But these short guided meditations help me to focus on the now; something that both my anxiety and depression don’t like me doing. (And anything they don’t like me doing feels like a huge win for me.)

Thursday December 21, 2017


  • Played in Adobe After Effects to create an animated gif for a client. Good reminder that I’m not an animator.


I had a minor breakdown today; we had been looking at houses last night. We’re hoping to buy at some point in the next year, but with prices, I don’t know how we’d be able to afford it. Goodness.

Friday December 22, 2017


  • Almost ready to go live with one client site – we’ll begin transferring the site from staging environment to live environment early next week.
  • Got caught up on all actionable emails
  • Started planning 2018 – thinking about setting up a maintenance package for our clients, removing a few of our services from our website (analytics), and combining a few others (emergency website fix & website design, email marketing & adwords)
  • Created a “Client Onboarding Process” checklist to hand all of the onboarding to John.


Hard to concentrate today. Last weekday before Christmas. Coffee + christmas music = OMGYAY.

One way to look at it is that it’s an absolute blessing that I now run my own business. I can’t imagine how I would be able to handle this if I were still working full-time for another company. I have to keep reminding myself that.

You see, the past few months have been a little crazy.

About a year and a half ago, my doctor ordered some blood tests for me as part of my annual checkup. One of the tests was to check my ferritin levels, and at that point in time my levels were high. Quite high. Since then, they’ve been increasing. I’ve been having regular blood tests, ultrasounds, appointments with specialists, and a long waiting period.

A couple of weeks ago, I got the diagnosis of hemochromatosis – a genetic disease where a person accumulates too much iron in their body, and (if left untreated) could lead to bad organ issues. And the treatment is regular phlebotomies… which means once a week, until my ferritin levels are under control, I get to spend some time at the hospital while they take 500ml of blood from me. Once a week.

I have appointments booked until late January.

And I DO NOT like needles or hospitals and I am extremely anxious about this.

It’s fortunate that I can make my own schedule. I know that. It’s fortunate that I can take my work wherever I want. It’s fortunate that they found this when they did and will be able to manage it.

Having flexible time so I could deal with other health issues. It’s a reason I wanted to work for myself.

… but that doesn’t mean I’m ecstatic about the fact that I’m needing to drive to the hospital every week for this, or how much time it’s going to take away from my clients. I’m going to need to spend some time over the next few weeks trying to balance out my calendar to take this into account.

Photo by Samuel Zeller