#MyStartupStory #day7: My Why

I’ve known for a long time that I wanted to start my own business.

For most of my life I have struggled with social anxiety and clinical depression. Because it’s something that I’ve had to live with for as long as I can remember, I’ve learned how to survive through it… I’ve also learned that it’s something where the environment that I’m in has a huge affect on how I am mentally each day.

The corporate environment was always one that I struggled with – because it could be extremely hectic, emotional and political, and these were areas where if I could feel any kind of conflict, my anxiety would shoot through the roof. The conflict may not even have been something I was involved in, but if it was going on in my environment, I felt it acutely. It would leave me unable to focus on my work at the best of times – at the worst, I would need to retreat to the bathroom in tears in order to prevent a panic attack.

When my anxiety wasn’t bothering me, my depression was. It left me feeling trapped and hopeless.

There were some days that were an absolute fight to push myself outside of my apartment. There were some days where I didn’t make it out the front door. There were days where I didn’t make it through an entire day at work. And there were a lot of days where I wasn’t able to produce my best work because of where I was mentally.

(Side note – I really wish the corporate environment could be more mental health friendly.)

But whenever I was able to work from home, I accomplished more… and what I did produce was more in line with what was needed to further the company that I was working with at that time. I was able to focus better, and that in turn allowed me to better pay attention to the small details in the website or graphic design that I was working on.

So, my “why” for creating my own business – because while I can survive the corporate environment, I don’t thrive in it. Because when I control my own environment, I can better create. Because when I can better create, I can better focus on helping other businesses reach their goals.